Blessed (and Cursed) by God
September 8th, 2010 by harleypigThere is no blessing that is not a curse, and no curse that is not a blessing.
I have been blessed (and cursed) with a knowledge of God. Almost, but not quite, a one on one relationship. I see his hand in almost everything. I know he is there. I’ve heard him laugh, I’ve felt his displeasure, I’ve reveled in his approval.
How can this be a curse?
I don’t want his help. I don’t want to admit that I can’t do what I’m supposed to do in this life without his support. I want to do it on my own.
(Imagine that last part said in the voice of a little boy.)
Maybe that’s why I was given this blessing–without it I would have been completely lost.
Maybe I can bend my neck; but I’ve spent so much of my life resisting all of His attempts. I don’t really know how to start that bending. I know I don’t want to–which is a huge part of the problem.
I’m sure he’s contemplating an aluminum bat to the back of my head …
September 8th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
harleypig, thank you for posting this! It’s been sitting waiting to be published for 2 years – I didn’t see it there … maybe you emailed and it didn’t get through or something.
Anyway, I am sorry for that, and thank you for the article – it really chimes with how I am feeling right now.
September 8th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
You’re welcome. I’d completely forgotten about it. :> Maybe it needed to be forgotten til now.
September 8th, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Wow, quick response. I had no idea people were checking this (until very recently down) site every day
September 8th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
September 9th, 2010 at 3:02 am
I hope this blog becomes active again. I so identify with the sentiment of the title.
I would never intentionally shake the faith of a believer, but I’d challenge you to try living in the world and viewing it for awhile under the assumption that God DOESN’T exist. See whether the world makes more or less sense to you. It was a difficult exercise for me to undertake, but a worthwhile one…
Best of luck with your struggle.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Well I did say on the little comments ‘wall’ that there was something from June 2008 awaiting review! Glad to see the site is up – when I found the site had gone last week, I was worried you’d decided it had run its course. Look forward to reading the new stuff.
November 29th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Really interesting thoughts to take you thinking about the curse and blessing of knowledge. Kinda reminded me of the garden of Eden. Interesting that if I put myself in Adam’s shoes I think he may of said something similar but from a more physical view point!
I really love guilty expressions and although I dip in and out it never ceases to challenge my understanding of God through His relationships with others. Thanks for posting.
~
January 4th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
“try living in the world and viewing it for awhile under the assumption that God DOESN’T exist.”
That’s a very interesting point. Some people seem convinced that God is at work. Then there are others, such as someone who posted on here years ago, who said that it made no difference when he stopped thinking about God existing and acting in the world.
Then there’s people like me who struggle to believe God is there but find the world without Him is a miserable place.